You are cordially invited to the most amazing show of the year! A show in a stunning theatre with heavy dramatic curtains and doors that close in sequence. Lighting to set the mood and soft music to create just the right ambience. A truly amazing show!

Your own show, to be quite specific. One where you get to choose who you want to invite and what you want to present.

Those boss-people you want to impress? Invite them. That perfect family you want to present to the world – front row seats! Your friend from school who you still compete with? Of course, they are there. Your parent who you still try to satisfy? Have a seat, please! Those Jones’s that you subtly try to keep up with or out-do – the more the merrier! An auditorium packed with people that you choose to have there for whatever reason you want.

So, how will this showy presentation of yours look like?

A gorgeous navy velvet bag with pale gold trimmings is in front of you to show your audience. Carefully you take things from it… Maybe a couple of self-deprecating jokes, to emphasize your humility. You’ll even nonchalantly list some of your accomplishments. Maybe you’ll point out some of your weaknesses – just to gain some sympathy from the audience. You’ll even share a bit of your heartbreak and struggles to get some tears going; and then to show them how you’ve overcome adversity.

You’ll highlight all the good you have done, all the many ways in which you have helped people. Your kind heart, your self-discipline, and even your patience. You will discuss the support and friendships that you so greatly appreciate. How you had to say goodbye to a couple of bad apples on this journey.

You will measure your blessings in monetary value. Your advice is free. Your decision-making sound. Everyone there will just fill your heart to the point where it overflows.

But, the scene starts to change a little bit. In the back corner – stage right a dirty little girly drags a trash bag on stage. The audience stays quiet and her eyes glow feverish in-between a streaky face and messy hair. Without a word she sits her butt on the ground and slowly starts unpacking this trash bag. A bag that very quickly becomes quite familiar.

Those times that you lied to yourself and justified certain actions. The times you used kindness to build guilt and favours. That time when you allowed someone else to carry the responsibility for what you did. All those times when you would cry or throw tantrums to get yourself out of messy situations created by yourself. Those times when instead of improving yourself, your brought someone else down. The times when you smiled in front of someone, then turned away and spoke negatively.

Those times when you manipulated a situation to get exactly what you wanted. When you were selfish, and maneuvered the outcome in your favour. The times when you overexaggerated your accomplishments just ever so slightly. And of course, the times where people were just there as a stepping stone – even though it was done with smiles.

The little seeds of doubt you planted in others’ minds, because of your own bias…

As the little girl is unpacking the trash bag, with her dirty nails, runny nose and sticky hands. She looks up at you with a tear stained face and her eyes glisters with pity – for you. You who seem to have it all together. Who knows exactly what to do and when to do it. You who demand respect and have earned it. This filthy little girl pities – you?

And then you realise that she cannot see the mask on your face that you have been working on so hard for so long. She cannot see the play-pretend that you have created over so many years. Nor can she see all the people you invited to your show, that you try to impress all the time.

She only see’s you. The defence behind everything you do, the tiredness from putting up the facade. The regret from all of your decisions that you cannot change. The hope that things will somehow still do.

The little girl can be a little boy as well. Because it’s all of our inner children reminding us. A genuine reminder – no pretense anymore, please…

The lights of the auditorium will fade and the music will stop. In this metaphorical show – everyone will walk out of the door. You will be left with 2 bags.

1. The bag that you try really hard at to impress other people
2. The bag that holds all the dark and good parts of yourself, but also carries genuine contentment and peace once we truly accept it

At what point do we accept who we are, and start living how we should be – instead of giving a show on how we want everyone to see us?

Do we continue with the velvety smoothness of the fancy bag filled with short-lived empties. Or do we hold on to the ray of light in-between who we truly are and who we’re meant to be?

Have a lovely week friends!