“True stability results when presumed order and presumed disorder are balanced. A truly stable system expects the unexpected, is prepared to be disrupted, waits to be transformed.” – Tom Robbins

There is a couple of sayings when it comes to diamonds. It lasts forever, it’s formed under pressure and my favourite – it’s chunks of coal that stuck to their jobs. Diamonds are in general regarded as a hot commodity, whether it’s for industrial use or the purpose of jewellery.

I have always been a bit impartial on diamonds. I enjoy a good sparkle on anything, but I cannot distinguish a real diamond from a piece of plastic. In fact – I have seen numerous pieces of plastic that I find way prettier than a diamond.

A couple of years ago, as I was studying towards one of the subjects in what is now my career – I came upon a little interesting piece of info that made me laugh out load. A method to destroy a diamond. (Oh, the horror!) Add said diamond to pure oxygen and apply heat (even just a simple blow torch) and your precious diamond will smoke away. It becomes stale breath, basically. Which makes sense, because diamonds are a carbon product.

And just like that, something of so much value – can lose it all, in a breeze of fresh air.

It’s a very expensive experiment to test and it’s my understanding that the person that wanted to prove this theory did not have a happy ending. Please feel free to read up on Antoine Lavoisier and the French revolution.

Back to the point – what is our value on the things in our lives?

One person may value financial success, for another a simple life has less challenges. You might put a high value on family, another has lost value due to family antics. Some value status and the perception others have of them at all cost, another has confidence in who they are without external influence (If you are out there – please share all your secrets). You might value respect across all boundaries, someone else’s respect is one sided. I might put a high value on honesty, another person is happier to not know the truth.

That which we value in such a high regard, become our norm on our expectations of others. And when someone does not share in what we value, we struggle to understand or emphasize.

Whether we find value in something concrete or more abstract concepts – when those things are tested and challenged, we lose a bit of our footing. Our struggles come not from what we value in things, but in those things that make us feel unvalued. The uncertainty in a boat rocked that makes us feel a bit unstable. And there is one thing we all have in common: we value stability.

There’s a difference in not having difficulties or challenges in life and stability. Routine and boredom are also not the same as stability. Spending your life in a comfort zone, with little growth is not being stable.

How then do we gain stability in times when we feel unvalued or when what we value, is disregarded?

The best way I can describe stability in my opinion, is when feathers are ruffled and the floor shakes – but there can still be a level of calm that supersedes any understanding. It’s when you get panicky about life and the future, but you KNOW that this too shall pass. It’s the foundation of our very being.

I find my stability in nature. Knowing that the world out there is so much bigger than the circumstances around me. I find stability in laughing at myself and things that force me to be humble. The small joys, being grateful for what I have. And mostly, I find stability in prayer and not focusing on myself too much (trying, at least).

In short – the best way to gain stability – is to just be and enjoy each day for what it is.

I find that those things that makes me stable in a whirlwind of life, is more valuable than anything of monetary or abstract value. Even a diamond can be destroyed, but the value of stability in the midst of chaos is literally invaluable.

Everything else they say about diamonds are true. It forms under immense pressure and temperature differences. It’s also true that I still can’t distinguish between a piece of plastic and a diamond. I still don’t have a specific opinion on it.

I do know its value is undeniable – I just value its lessons significantly more.

Happy finding stability friends!