“The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things” – Henry Ward Beecher

I love the idea of sandcastles on a beach. The majority of beach goers play around with basic castles and every now and again you would find a magnificent art piece built by someone. I daydream wherever I go. The dreams are magical and always fairly realistic. The problem is that no one person can live up to those daydreams – including myself. We tend to look at ourselves on some sort of elevated platform. The way we want to be seen.
The way we would like people to look at us.

We want to hold on to the way things was. Running after the castle that the waves just crushed. Unfortunately, that moment can never be recreated again.

I cannot think of a single one person that goes through life not wanting happiness. True laughter, the laughter that starts in your belly and bubbles from your face is a small joy that spreads like wildfire. We build our general happiness on the amounts of good feelings we get, from the day to day occasions. We collect a bunch of good memories that we hold on to. Those big occasions – a wedding day, the birth of a child, a promotion – and that is the standard we set. We get what we want and we strive for the next thing – to get our fill of dopamine.
Increasingly we involve the ones we care about to keep up with our expectations. And boy, do we get disappointed when those expectations are not met.

It’s a conflicting time we live in – the pursuit of our own selfish happiness being advertised, whilst simultaneously laying all these expectations on those around us in order for us to reach that goal.

We hold the people close to us to such a high standard. Because they are OUR people, our expectations are high of them. When we get disappointed – we expect people to fix it. Fix what they have broken. And as time passes, we tend to remind them of those times when we were disappointed. It’s a heavy burden to put onto someone. The expectations we have of them, that layer of ice we created for others to walk on – that they should now carefully tread on. Our expectations based on things that we wouldn’t do. It’s normal to compare other people’s bad qualities to our good qualities. And as such, we plant all these beautiful trees close to water and expect all animals to climb it the same way. Forgetting our own potential to disappoint.

The burden is heavy. Expecting everyone around you to do things that you will do, in order for you to be happy. We think that if only someone else could be more considerate, more consistent, more honest – then you wouldn’t be forced to sulk and be unhappy.

And it honestly just creates a platform for discontent. Ungratefulness.

So tonight, I just want to put a pause on all of the expectations. I want to close my eyes and happily think of all the small joys in my life. Following the moon in full, on my way to work last week. Going to bed in a soft cloud. Waking in silence, before the house gets noisy with people that is alive. The sun on my skin, even with winter approaching. Being able to give something to someone that needs it, and not expecting anything in return. Still painting my toenails red. Eating a koeksister for breakfast. The sound of your heartbeat after a good exercise. Wind in your hair and on your face. A moment of sincerity from someone you don’t expect it from. A glass of wine and good music after a long day. A friendly smile from a stranger. The joys of water in whichever format.

How will we ever appreciate the bigger joys, if we can’t be fully satisfied with the small pleasures that surround us every day? Even when tomorrow looks uncertain?

So my challenge this week to everyone is the following: Enjoy the simple things. Be grateful for the small things. The future has always been uncertain, the past does not have to be the future. 

Find joys in the little things, it helps to not overthink the big things. Make decisions based from a place of being peaceful and content, not a place of fear. Leave the expectations alone – just for a little bit. But share your small little joys with everyone around you.

Happy enjoying friends!