What’s in a dream?

In school I went to the Library on a regular basis. I loved it there. Sometimes I’d cycle there and spend a couple of hours reading in the kids corner on the bean bags that was there. Sometimes I went there with my teacher to prepare for a debating topic. But I was a regular customer – getting lost in MANY a topic.

One of these phases was the meaning of dreams. I went into a rabbit hole trying to figure out what my dreams meant. Oh, I was (and still am) a vivid dreamer. I have sequence dreams,  repeat dreams, dreams where what happens isn’t nice, but I don’t feel scared in them. (I don’t mind those). Nightmares when you wake up with your heart beating in your chest. Dreams that make you walk and talk (or maybe thats just me?) And as I got older – dreams that break your heart.

I came to the natural conclusion (in later years, after I found a new topic of intetest that ran with my thoughts) however, that apart from you subconscious reminding you of things – theres no real deeper meaning in our dreams. At least in my case. It doesn’t predict the future. Nor does give you magical insight and wisdom into life. It’s everyday things or observations. Sometimes things that bother you and it comes through in a dream that you relate to those issues.

And sometimes it’s the very real dreams that you wake up from on a random Saturday morning that just triggers every sob-system for the whole day. Because sometimes things just IS. And it makes you sad.

And then there are daydreams. Those of course are VERY much conscious. I sometimes get annoyed, because I have THE MOST realistic daydreams ever. It’s things that can possibly, PROBABLY even happen in real life. Except it doesn’t. Although – I’ve learned a daydream flattering your own ego is best not done at all.

Follow your dreams, dream catchers and so many other sayings put dreams in a positive light. The good category. If you have something you truly believe in – to just go get it. As simple as that.

I do have a bit of an issue with portraying dreams in that way. I’m pretty sure that every person going onto Idols or America’s got talent or The Voice, whose footage was used for laughing entertainment  – also had a dream and people encouraging them to follow it. And when we are subjectively looking at our own things, it’s not always easy to be realistic. Because our dreams are based on hope. Hope and what we think will satisfy us.

And sometimes in life, you have to let go of that dream / daydream that you had in your mind of how your life will be.

I think the difference between a nightmare and positive dream comes in with how you look at letting go of that blissful dream you once had. You can wake up to the reality of the Saturday morning dream that just breaks your heart all over again. And hold onto that sadness. Or you can allow yourself a day, and then direct your thoughts away from the past and onto the future. Away from the misunderstandings, secrets, accusations, lack of support, senselessness of situations, ignorance, betrayal or whatever is your random Saturday morning dream.

It’s not always easy chasing your dreams. Because our lives are interlinked with other people and reaching those dreams is not just a straightforward path. It’s not always easy to move away from the past either. Holding on to the ‘what if’s’.

In fact, it takes hard work and a lot of introspection to move away from That Dream into something so much bigger: This Reality. My here and now.

Now that ain’t fun is it? The thing is, and I want to be very clear – this does not mean no aspirations. If you cannot find happiness in your current circumstances – regardless of your fears or the challenges – you will always chase the dream, never achieving it.

Maybe we should stop dreaming. Maybe instead of linking hope to our dreams, we can link hope to how we live. To sit on your couch hoping things will change – that’s not really going to help.

But get up and start living the life you have right now. Enjoying the most mundane things. And build your hope from reality.

This is where I am right now. I don’t like all aspects of it. Some I strongly dislike. But today I’m living my life and enjoying at least some parts of it. Change what I can, but reallt try to not stay stuck on what I can’t change.

There will always be challenges and fears that almost cripple you. But day for day, actually living, instead of the perpetual daydream. And in This Reality we can enjoy the small joys, in-between the bigger things that scare us. And no daydream can replace the real-life emotions. The dream, the play-pretend – all of those things we portay to the outside world will not change the reality. It only seems deceitful. And creating a different dream persona, does not remove the reality of an actual life lived. The food, the bad and the ugly.

Because This Reality in all it’s realness, is still better than a far off daydream or living the comfortable delusion.

Have a lovely and REAL week friends!