“This journey isn’t about getting something done, ‘as quickly as possible.’ It’s about process, not instant gratification.” ― Michael Brown – The Presence Process

A very specific memory I have from when I was very small, was waiting on my mom’s bed for her to finish her makeup in order for us to go to town. Going to town was a great adventure for me. Not the shopping – that I can’t stand, but getting out of the house, breaking routine.

I remember waiting on her bed and it felt like I was waiting forever. I’m pretty sure that my mom would be a little bit insulted that I thought she was taking so long – considering that by today’s measures (and my own) that she did not, and still doesn’t, take long to do her makeup.

But I wanted to go to town NOW. When I was good and ready.

We live in a time period where we are so accustomed to instant gratification that our frustrations are tickled by having to wait just a little bit longer than what we would prefer to.

Online shopping is instant, instant internet, instant food. We literally press okay and then the order goes through. Deliveries from oversees can come within a week (well, most places in South Africa).

You want that magnetic photo frame you didn’t know you needed? Trolley. That woven basket to hide the Domestos away in your bathroom? Trolley. That Llama piece of cheap art, that makes eye contact with you wherever you’re standing or sitting? Jip – trolley.

Don’t want to cook tonight? The options in the takeaway isle are endless!

Everything is right there when you need it. We need our 3 different colours of sleeveless tops tomorrow, not when it’s actually spring. It’s annoying when the Mr. Delivery asking for directions and they are 5 minutes later than the app showed. We get irked because there are 4 cars in the que ahead of us in the drive-thru or 5 people ahead of us in Checkers. Your computer is restarting for 5minutes – the horror!

We have created a world where we want, what we want, when we want it – and we probably want it right now.

So, what happens when you find yourself in situations where you are seemingly standing still? Are we actually standing still, or are we just so used to getting things right now, that even the smallest of delays or changes is creating overwhelming frustration?

I am a fast walker. I walk a lot. When I need to think or gain clarity – I will walk. I am very fortunate to have always worked in an environment that allows me to go for a walk somewhere. So I walk with a mission on most days.

One of my pet peeves is that on Sundays after church, everyone will greet each other in the middle of the shopping centre isles to catch up on the whole family history. That’s great for you. I, however, just want to grab my box of donuts, fresh fruit, cereal bars, doom spray and head home. I have a goal when I walk into a shopping centre. Go in, pay, come out. And the old people are blocking the isle to the doom spray and now I need to deal with the enormous bugs in my house and old people chatting. (Church doesn’t magically change your negative thinking, unless you actively participate in the decision-making)

But what is the fast walking bringing me? Fast thinking? Fast talking? When I am super focussed – I have the potential to literally walk over someone to get to my goal. I am not even joking when I say this. The person between me and the area/ person I’m walking towards is a mere blur in my mind. In my mind I’m focussed on the conversation to be held or activity to take place. Is it rude? Yes. Is it deliberate? No.

So, concluding – fast walking, thinking and talking is probably only going to create situations where I am forced to be patient, forced to repeat myself, or forced to explain my way of thinking in a reasonable manner.

I don’t think everyone has the exact same issues with fast walking as I do. Yet, we are in a society where instant gratification is not only strived for, but expected.

Stop and smell the flowers? We heard it, but there will always be value in this. Delays and obstacles are as much part of life as anything else. Expecting a service when you pay for it – is perfectly reasonable. Patiently waiting when there’s delays is just as reasonable. Having fun, laughing, and enjoying small moments while you are waiting – now that just gives you long-term joy.

There is a time and place for everything in life. Instant gratification is short lived stimulation, that leaves us wanting for more. It’s based on feelings. There are a lot to be grateful for when we are moving from point A to point B. And that is the difference between instant gratification and a state of gratefulness. It’s simply a choice, not a feeling.

Stop and smell the flowers, the trees, the air. Stop and look at your surroundings. Stop and look at the person right in front of you – they might be saying so much without saying anything at all. Stop and savour this moment. There is a small amount of joy hidden in this very situation, while you are waiting. Sometimes life forces you to stop – take a deep breath, you might as well absorb everything around you in that moment.

Now, if you ever see me in town, marching past you – please stop me and remind me of this very message.

Happy gratitude and then some, friends!