When I moved to the far north, I was placed in housing that I was not very fond of. It was noisy and had almost no privacy – which to me is a very important aspect of my life. I don’t particularly want to go out in shorts and wash my car, while waving at someone from work. Nor did I care for the Boeing Airbus lift-off sound of the generator starting at all hours of the day and night, during load-shedding. Remember stage 6?

When I was offered the opportunity to move, believe me – I grabbed it.

This obviously also required me to now move. I gathered a group of people and I started organising. There was some internal debate when they mentioned they expected a presentation on the move – so I did exactly that. Something that started out completely as a joke – became quite the presentation. Including a floorplan, description of heavy furniture, music added to said presentation and coloured sticky notes in the empty space.

The aim was to only leave the heavy furniture to be moved on the Saturday. I was grateful for their help, I didn’t want to kill them,

for two weeks prior to the move I packed on my own and made sure everything was well organised. I received the house keys the Wednesday afternoon and for two days straight I moved everything I possibly could on my own. I drove so many times between the two areas, that I had to replace all 4 of my tyres after the move.

Oh, I was looking forward to the Saturday! The plan was to move as quickly as possible and then we can set up and have a braai. Meat and drinks supplied as a token of my appreciation. I should probably mention that I also have a piano that had to be moved. If you’ve ever moved one – you will know it’s not for the faint of heart.

Saturday morning, I woke up with little sleep, stressed out, stiff and grumpy – because I wanted everything to go seamlessly. I was moody and annoyed. Instead of spending my day in a state of gratefulness and laugh through the hard work – my expectation and pressure I placed on myself – created a situation where I was left slightly deflated. I still to this day wonder whether my friends fully know how much I appreciated their help and laughter in-between my own frowns.

It’s a simple example, but the point I want to bring across, is that sometimes when we plan for things to have a perfect outcome, it somewhat fails because of the pressure we put onto ourselves. We focus so much on the details, that we lose sight of the bigger picture. When we put pressure on ourselves, we also reflect that pressure onto other people and we inadvertently ‘ask’ them to carry our burden with us.

Pressure is not a bad thing. I function under high pressure. A lot of people do – however – it does not have to be a constant state of being. My environment creates situations where you also feel pressurized. Someone else needs something done right now and the expectation is for everyone else to jump immediately. This is 100% understandable for emergencies or when situations have suddenly changed. The problem comes in, if a situation has been brewing, and people were too indecisive up until it reaches a point where it can no longer be ignored. Then, you still do your best to make it happen. Even if it is unreasonable.

As always, I found myself pondering about the extremities of pressure. We put pressure on ourselves to perform, to do things well, to be seen and understood. Versus the pressure we feel from others, based on their own pressure points. Where do we find the bliss point? The perfect way how we deal with pressure. The amount of pressure we place on ourselves and other people. Where is the soft spot?

I can never overstate planning too much. But don’t get stuck in the planning of things to the point where your wheels fall off if things don’t go your way. If someone else is incapable of seeing the bigger picture – it’s your job to do the best you can, through hard work and a dash of understanding – not to convince them otherwise. Practicality and emotions should be in balance. There should always be time to laugh and create a relaxing environment for yourself and others – even inside the pressure cooker, but there is a time and place for everything.

And even with the best of intentions – some people will always misunderstand you. They also have their own struggles. It will take a load of pressure off your shoulders – if you don’t take those things too personal. Because we tend to do the exact same thing.

The pressure pot can be a place where you burn your face off, or it can be a place where the most amazing flavours can form. There is a time for the pressure to build. And a time to let it out. A time to let it cool down and a time to let it simmer. Sometimes even to stir the pot a little bit.

Am I done putting pressure on myself? Decidedly not. Am I learning when to draw the line and have fun in between? I freak’n hope so!

Happy streaming, friends!