Before starting, I want to make it clear that I know very little about human anatomy and the skeletal system. I only have logic on my side and my own experiences – not biology. It was only recently, that I realised the ‘hip-bones’ I’ve been clicking since High school is actually my SI joints.

But allow me to explain – I am a walking, talking clicker. Fingers, wrists, shoulders, neck, back, hips (SI joints), elbows, knees, ankles and toes. And ALL of these clicks provide instant relief. Like I am stuck in a gear and can’t move smoothly until I’ve clicked.

Now, lately – all of my ligaments have apparently gone softer. Which means, I am not longer clicking to my own satisfaction as much. However – there has been this extreme fight between my sciatic nerve, my SI-joints and my butt-muscles (according to my physio), which makes it necessary for me to ‘click’ my hips numerous times a day for that instant relief. And it’s simple: I straighten my one leg, while raising my other leg backwards in a lazy Arabesque or Attitude position and then I just tilt my body towards my straight knee and ’click’! And if that is not enough, I lplace my one foot on my opposite leg’s thigh and turn it 90 degrees sideways, and ‘click’!

Here’s what we (my physio more than me) discovered though, something that no amount of rubbing or needling or ballet barre exercises could fix. My clicking would supply me short term relief, but it ultimately manipulated the SI-joints even more and triggered the internal fights going on. The loose ligaments were even looser and the muscle struggled to keep the SI joints in it’s new place, so it worked harder. The sciatic nerve was collateral damage. (This is just my way of explaining what was going on)

I am now 3 ½  days hip-click free, and even though I felt like a robot in need of oil in the beginning – my sciatica has most definitely improved. Not gone, by no means, but tolerable. Mostly.

And of course I want to use my clicking hip lesson and revert it to my most favourite of sayings: We are the cause of our own misery.

When we do those small things that gives us instant relief. Those small things we taught ourselves to sooth our central nervous system – how many of those things are actually beneficial in the long run? It’s vast, I get it, but I want to provide a couple of examples:

– Having the last say

– Winning the argument

– Sulking until someone else gives into what you want

– The silent treatment

– Going out of your way to mislead people about your life and its realities.

– Venting about someone that annoys you to another person

– Influencing someone about another person you have specific feelings about

– Using alcohol or other drugs as an escape mechanism

– Lashing out at someone else when you have a rough day

– Saying what is on your mind, without considering someone else’s situation or circumstances.

– Laying on the guilt until someone caves

All instant relief mechanisms, and all of them actually does feel good in that specific moment.

But then what? If I do not ground myself or find healthy ways in which I handle my own nervous system – what does the instant relief scenarios bring me past the ‘instant’? Maybe a little bit of constant guilt, regret, self-doubt, mistrust, discontentment. Self-justification, extreme judgement, selfishness and a whole lot of other bad habits. None of which are tools for joy.

Now, by clicking my joints, I had absolutely no idea that I was in fact making the situation worse. So, it’s a fair assumption to make that we are not doing these things deliberately. But life doesn’t put a pause or a ‘pass’ on our ignorance.

And leaving a pile of collateral damaged people in our rear-view mirror of instant destruction is also not really helping our cause, despite our mantra’s of telling ourselves our intentions are good. When we base each day on instant reliefs and quick fixes, we are in no means living intentional. We are just slaves to our emotions and feelings. And even though we feel like we can’t help it – we have so much more control over our thoughts than what we are willing to acknowledge. But it’s intentional thinking, intentional choices and intentional reactions to different scenarios that keep us grounded.

Allowing our thoughts to run haywire and acting on our instant gratifications I think is the equivalent of coming home every day after work and plop yourself right in front of the TV until bed time. It’s nice, it’s relaxing and it’s routine. Easy living. But how beneficial is it? And even more so – how utterly miserable?

The progress of doing specific exercises for the collaterally damaged sciatic nerve is slightly longer and slower than my hip-clicks. It comes with patience. The actual improvement? Hmmm… Ask me again in Feb 2026😊. I do miss my instant reliefs. But, because I can already see a general (ever so slightly) improvement in pain level – I know it’s worth it.

Try not to rely too much on our own quick fixes and instant reliefs. It opens the door for always doing the same thing we’ve always done and expecting different results. And you know I have no patience for more Groundhog Days.

Long and steady, friends. Patience; intentional thinking and choices. The road might be longer, but the benefits so much more and reliable. We don’t need to create our own misery on top of what’s already out in the world.

Have a lovely week, friends!