I had a precarious incident last week. I was inquiring about work conducted after a request was discussed and agreed upon with a subordinate. After being sent on a bit of a ghost chase, it came out that the work was in fact – not done. I then received a message in the lines of: “I don’t need this right now.” I am honestly not sure how anyone in a professional environment should respond to something like that.

Because while I am well aware that they most definitely didn’t feel like they needed this awkward situation at that time – there were more than one person involved in this scenario.

What I needed – was for work to be done in order to deliver. For someone to do what they said they would. What I needed, was not to have my blood pressure rise up when I am having my ‘no negativity Friday’ – by a callous response.

However – even though I cannot relate at all to responding in that matter when it comes to work, I most definitely can relate to the concept of finding myself in situations that I feel I don’t need at a specific moment.

Whenever we are struck with overwhelming feelings where we don’t need certain reactions, responses or behaviours – it probably came from one of two causes.

The first one, is because of a choice or a couple of choices that were made over a period of time. Where we had no way of understanding the full impact of those choices and the consequences is a bit ‘eh’. The – crying after you created a storm – scenario. And we do sometimes create storms even if it’s not our intention – we were merely playing around with the weather. A butterfly effect – if you will. Small decisions we made with only ourselves on our minds.

The other is where you have to carry the consequences of decisions someone else made. Unwillingly getting involved in situations where you had no business being involved in, in the first place. Yet – here you are carrying consequences for other people’s decisions. The ‘unfairness’ of situations we sometimes find ourselves in. We are participants in our lives, despite the fact that we ‘feel’ helpless on occasion.

All of us has thought at one stage or another, that we don’t need a situation we found ourselves in. But sometimes no amount of verbalisation or silent screams or tears or upsets is going to change it. We are getting, what we don’t need. Or rather – don’t want.

Life in itself is a team sport. We are all actively participating in life and we are intertwined with other people. More than just our close family and friends. When we only think subjectively about our interactions – when our minds are only set on ourselves and our needs – we are bound to miss a couple of things. Inconsideration towards people in our lives, just limits us and them. When I do what I want, whenever I want and I justify it around every corner – it’s such a one-dimensional way of thinking.

And I write this – with a full understanding that it’s very difficult to get your mind off of yourself. Or to climb out of your head. Full disclosure – my mind has been a lot on myself and how I’ve been impacted by other people’s decisions; becoming a player after a lot of convincing – and still felt a bit helpless. Where my words were mere whispers in the wind.

I don’t need this. But I’m getting it.

Which inadvertently made me think – but what if I do need this?

What if these unfortunate situations we find ourselves in – insert your own – is exactly what we need right now. What if this situation forces us to become very still and aware. What if we can manage to take our minds off ourselves and what we feel we need – and realise that there is more than just me in this situation? It would be nice if all people can come to this realisation, because no one wants to be introspectacular alone – we like to share our insights. But part of this, is also understanding that taking your mind off of yourself, does not mean that others will do it as well. Or at least – not when you necessarily want them to. And realising that you should take your mind off of yourself, does also not mean that it’s going to happen successfully every day.

I did not feel like a team player last week Friday. I also didn’t really feel like I wanted to be a team player this morning. I was frustrated and I genuinely just need a good laugh and some heartfelt sincerity. For work to run smoothly for just a bit. Maybe even a hug. But I also realise that sometimes, by getting what you don’t feel you need – you get perfect opportunities to deal with things until you get it right. But it will all turn the ‘unneeded’ into exactly what you needed in the long run. People play different parts in all sports. But there is always an end goal.

So, the next time, when you annoyingly think that you ‘don’t need this’ – you probably are still getting this. Whoopsies. Understand that there are more than just yourself in any situation. That our attitude matters. That there are a Bigger Purpose. And it’s probably exactly what you need to grow into that purpose. That this is about more than just ‘me’. It’s more than just this situation in front of you – right now. And that in itself – is sometimes needed to simply lighten the situation – the end goal.

Happy playing friends!