When I started this blog in the Winter of 2016, my view on life was a lot different. Not the fundamentals of why I started this, but some basic views.
A lot can happen in 10 years.
Back then my life resolved around me, way more than what I would’ve liked to admit. Not in the spoilt brat type reflected on TV, but in the – if you do your own thing for long enough, you don’t even realise all the ways you put yourself first.

I was selfish with my sleep. No messages after 8, no phone calls after 7. If I had visitors, they had to respect my need to sleep and wake up for work.

I had no patience for people that are late. Plan better. It’s disrespectful towards anyone else to be late. Meetings running late is one of my pet peeves. Hang-outs with friends annoyed me if they were late. At the very least, send a message.

I was demanding. If I had something important to say – then I would say it. If there was an issue that needed to be addressed, I would address it. I dealt important matters ‘right now’. I cannot wait for you to finish your 2hour breakfast before work. Your small talk about life is not as important as the main surface fans being off right now.

Those are just 3 examples. And I am going to stick up for myself just a little bit here. Routine, principle, integrity, and the ability to prioritise are not bad things. But when you dismiss someone else entirely to ensure your comforts are met – it becomes an issue.

I went through a bit of an existential crisis last year March. What was the purpose of life if you only live for yourself? I was highly annoyed with selfish behaviour. Simply because I recognised myself in it and I didn’t like it. And to be honest – I will never like it when people can’t put themselves and their ego’s aside for the bigger picture. Or emotional manipulation.

Our lives are not our own. A ‘me’ attitude is not cutting it. Not anymore. But I also understand that sometimes we become self focused, not deliberately,  but as a side effect of our lives. Self validation, self congratulatory, humble brag – all of these things can also encourage us to become prideful.

One of the main reasons why I started my blog again after a hiatus, was that this time it wasn’t just about my voice being heard. I told myself – if only 1 person reads it and it can help them on some level – it’s enough for me.

And I meant it.

I do not need validation on who reads it. No one needs to like it. You can role your eyes, you can silently correct my grammar and typo’s. But if there is a chance that for just one person it might be a small comfort or help you look at things differently  – I will continue to wear my heart on my sleeve. Loudly.

But, tonight I also want to add a link to my writing. With a bit of an extra heart. Because sometimes motivation or perspective isn’t enough. And sometimes you do what you think you can, to help those you love.
That one person I’d like to help tonight is my cousin. And I know – I have a lot of those. My dad is one of 8 kids. And we’re 21 biological grandkids. Some extra added. And I love all of them. I often even like them. More often than not, actually. If ever you’re so inclined – please follow the link.

https://www.backabuddy.co.za/campaign/support-for-elanis-cancer-treatment-and-recovery

Have a lovely week, friends! 😉