On Sunday I heard the most beautiful sermon about people’s broken pieces used to become beautiful stained-glass windows. And it made me think a little bit deeper about glass and windows and what we allow the world to see, while trying to hide our shattered pieces as we move through life.

Glass windows are nice. It brings in light and opens up the world to us a little bit. To create the illusion that we are not inside a little box on a random hillside. (Who can pin-point that reference? 😊)

However, we all want to be able to see outside, but want to limit what people can see looking into our windows. So, we have curtains and window film and the areas where we allow people to look inside, we decorate and make pretty. We do our utmost best to keep our windows all patched up and what we present to the world is a perfect picture.

Except – there is no such thing as a perfect picture…

I sometimes wonder the extent of play-pretend people are willing to go through in order to give the illusion that everything is seamless? Filled with rainbows and sunshine? I have noticed – it can be quite the effort. Which means – that the moment the glass shatters – it takes a little bit longer to accept the reality.

I have spent the best part of 3 years trying to understand some very complicated people. Why they do what they do, what caused it, and how I can help to fix it – or simply just have empathy with situations unfamiliar to me. And with a bit of defiance, I have come to realise, that some people are honestly content with the way things are. The more the boat is rocked – the more they tend to jump ship. And there is a lot of ship jumping. And each conversation will be turned around focused on another persons’ faults and shortcomings. Which will happen, because a conversation between people involves more than just one side. But, it also takes away from the conversation.

And it all seems so pointless. So unnecessary. No purpose or reason for it to have ever happened. Trying to break your brain in the pursuit of understanding with literally nothing to show for it.

The thing is though – whether we fight against it – at some point in our lives our windows will become a bit damaged and chipped. Some cracks will form. It is the result of the wear and tear of life. So, you can continue to patch it up, box it in and remove the light in the process. Or you can embrace the shattered shards and make something beautiful from it.

This morning I asked the question: aren’t you tired of the same thing over and over again? The same decisions, the same behaviour – Groundhog Day. And the answer I got back was simple – ‘but everything in life is the same and repeated’. For me though, there is a difference in daily routine and repetitions in life and decisions with the same unhappy results. I will be damned if I have not grown as a person in the last couple of years.

I have picked up bad habits, made some excuses, made some mistakes, made some more. But I have also done severe self-reflection, made some good decisions, wore my heart on my sleeve, learned from my mistakes and acknowledged what I can change and what I must let go. And hopefully have found a level of content and peace, that is difficult to explain.

Life is messy and confusing. We all experience bad things and good things in our lives. Do we allow for all of it to make us bitter, yet we try to hide the bitterness behind our ‘prefect’ windows and carefully chosen words? Are we allowing ourselves to fall into a pit and see something horrible in everything that happens to us? Do we constantly manipulate situations in order to gain sympathy from others – because gloom needs company? Does negativity attract more negative things to your life?

There is a difference between wanting removing your energy, simply because of your own mindset; than to use your energy to heal something, or making something broken a little bit more beautiful – despite the cracks. If someone spends a little bit of positive energy on you – maybe they sometimes deserve the same grace. I can’t speak for other people, but I will absolutely, always spend my energy on someone that needs it in the moment and that has been there for me on some level. I will not walk away until I have done everything in my power to make it better. If I can’t, I can’t – but to just preemptively remove energy simply because of our own selfishness – eh…

But we do need to walk away when our understanding of beauty and growth is different and the shards start chipping back. Not everyone is keen on growing – most people want to keep the status quo. And that is perfectly okay. The question remains, though – is my approach to situations healthy in the long run or just simply a short-term pacifier?

Some people want to make something beautiful of all broken pieces around them – including their own. It might start out with a bit of cut fingers and sticky glue on nails – but just keep at it.

So, don’t be scared of the shattered pieces, dear friends. I have said it before and I will say it again – there’s beauty in the breakdown.

As you rebuild a window into a colourful mosaic – take care. But also – enjoy the process – because the end result will steal your breath away when that morning sunlight starts breaking through your newly formed pieces. And those broken pieces are best illuminated by the light from within.

Have a lovely week friends!