In December of 1995 we returned to Mossel bay for a holiday, almost 2 years after we moved away from that area. Dad had a new caravan and we were all excited to test it out. It was a whole planned trip to reunite at all the spots we fondly left behind. I learned a couple of things that holiday, firstly – if your mother loves you; and you and your brother start jumping on the big rocks at The Valley of Desolation – she will get slightly hysterical and you will hear her roar.

The second thing, I will share in this story. Our camping spot was prime, on what I remember as a cliff, with stairs downwards to the beach. The sea-view was amazing and the ocean was loud and powerful. I say I remember it as a cliff, not because it necessarily was so high, but because I was 10 and everything was bigger than what it is today. I also had a couple of years for it to become bigger in my mind.

And as we camped, with the tent facing the ocean head-on, a peculiar thing happened. The wind started picking up. Windy conditions at the beach is not what was peculiar, but the extent of this wind was extreme. For a couple of days, my dad had the front flap of the tent tied down and we had to crawl through a tunnel opening of about 0.5m². Which we had to go through for a couple of days. The sounds of the ocean and other people’s voices was silenced by the shrill wailing of the wind. Watching my parents trying to communicate as they struggled to tie the flap down was very interesting – the wind drowning all sound. The nights had no rhythm to it, only shrieking complaints.

Have you ever tried speaking against the wind? Communicating against a loud sound, saying so little? Swallowing up the words, making it part of the weeping and spitting it out as if there is nothing to it.

Ever found yourself in a situation where you felt like your communication was merely whispers in the wind? It’s a bit of a helpless feeling. Your first response is to speak louder, speak more, explain more. You also argue that if you took what someone else says seriously – they will offer you the same grace.

But the wailing wind only continues in its own path. With no grace to anything other than itself and no amount of voice altercation will change its course.

As a student teacher, I learned once that there are 5 very different ways of communicating your subject in order for a student to understand the topic. Only after all 5 of these approaches has been tried and tested and none of them worked, can we assume that a child is struggling. Before that – your communication has not yet been shared appropriately. Meaning, more times than not – it’s how you communicate that can be the problem. If you want someone to understand – explain on their level of understanding.

I don’t think adults are different. Our subject matter becomes more complex, but our level of understanding is not universal. Therefore sometimes, when you have tried all different ways of communicating, and there is still not a mutual agreement – it feels like you are whispering in the wind.

I am well aware that we need to adjust ourselves in order for someone else to understand our communication. I have also learned, that at some point you need to quiet down and accept that for the time being – there is not always mutual ground.

And it’s in situations where there is no mutual ground, where we need to stop trying to communicate on a level where people are just not capable of understanding. Communication are more than just simply words. I struggle with that, because I enjoy negotiation.

We need to learn to pick our battles. When it’s quieter and calmer and the battle is less lethal.

The storm and wind died down at some point during that amazing summer. I can’t remember exactly when, but I do remember falling asleep on my mom’s yellow patchwork blanket in the sun, after a whole day of swimming. Sunshine for days as if we didn’t crawl through a manhole for safety. And a darker shade of lobster.

Some people will always carry the storm with them. Maybe we’ll have a much better chance to be heard by those that carry the sunshine instead. Maybe we can carry the sunshine ourselves. And as someone that can quite enjoy a stormy day – I most definitely do not enjoy a stormy week. Communication is more than just words, more than just a whisper. Actions speak louder than any words ever can. And sometimes communication is simply – a silent light.

Have a lovely week friends!