“Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you.” Joel Osteen

What upsets you in life? What are those small or big things that makes your mood go from stable and chilled, to fiery and explosive in seconds? Or for the more chilled people – from stable to slightly annoyed?

I’m sure all of us have lists of the things that we have little tolerance for. I’m also pretty sure that this list of upsetting things has little to do with us, but loads to do with other people. (wink-wink)

 Not planning ahead and leaving things for the last minute; poor communication; procrastination that impacts you; inability to have foresight; lack of consideration; condescension.

This is only a couple of things that can possibly upset me on any given Monday morning before 10:00 already.

There was a stage where I could not sleep more than 2 – 4 hours on Sunday nights. Every single Sunday night. See, there was something that would trigger me and my brain would refuse to shut down. Work related issues or concerns – I would lay in bed allowing my thoughts and feelings to run away with it. Someone in my personal life behaving in a way that I didn’t understand – start that mental treadmill up. Concern for family and friends or strangers you’ve never met – I would have the mental Olympics all worked into a single night.

I tried everything. Yoga and stretching, warm milk and honey, a relaxing bath in Lavender oil – I tried it. I would fall asleep and then wake up with a fright to start the business of worrying and being upset about things that have not yet happened. Sleeping tablets, but that made me grouchy and I also tend to stay away from pills. If it’s something I need to deal with and learn to accept – then that is exactly what I need to do – not run away from my issues and hope they go away.

(Please take note that, this is my perspective for myself – some people use sleeping tablets for numerous other reasons and it helps them greatly)

I felt it was justified to get upset back then, but I suppose it always seems justifiable.

Difficult personalities; man-child behaviour; sabotage and paranoia; undermining behaviour; and everything else I can add to my Monday morning state of being upset.

Here is the bit of the shocker though: Not a single one of those reasons that kept me up every single Sunday night – was staying up with me. The problems fell asleep and had a good night’s rest. Refreshed for the Monday morning antics. The people that bothered me did not keep me company; nor did the issues, or it’s seemingly unwillingness to be resolved in my waking hours.

So, let’s quickly list all the things I gained from my hours of being awake: Bags under my eyes, Monday moodiness (I prefer to be moody on Wednesday nights), knotty hair from tossing and turning, dry skin. I cannot emphasize the baggy eyes enough!

I gained nothing positive from my state of being upset. And honestly, after a week of being busy – it wasn’t such a big deal anymore, anyway.

A bit of an unpopular opinion (in reference to daily happenings, not truly horrible situations), but we are the cause of our own misery. How many hours to you spend focusing on the less desirable things that happened? How many rpm does your brain spin thinking about how upset you are, on a situation that involves more than just you? How many good moments and small joys did you miss, because being upset is so time consuming?

I know I wasted too many hours. Too many nights and days on this. It’s a heavy weight to carry on your shoulders – allowing for the ‘upset’ to become part of your being – instead of a fleeting moment.

I haven’t had a sleepless Sunday in almost a year. And the only insight I came to, was the following:

1. More times than not, I reacted on assumptions, without having all of the information.
2. What other people do and how they behave reflects on them – not me. My behaviour, my eagerness to be in a constant state of upset – that is a full reflection on me.
3. Someone else might also be reacting to something. If I have feelings and happenings – so does someone else. It need not be personal – if I choose so.
4. I genuinely want to find even the smallest piece of joy in each day.

I still get upset occasionally. Does it last as long as it used to? Absolutely not. Do I get upset less often? I believe so. I am a working progress, but at the very least – I am happier about it.

Please stop making yourself upset for hours on end. At some point in that process, it’s no longer about the external sources affecting us, but purely our internal refusal to let go or see the bigger picture outside of ourselves.

We are allowed to have our feelings – but we don’t need to hold on to the negative emotions so tightly.

Enjoy a nice relaxing bath and happy un-upsetting friends!