Unpopular personal opinion: I don’t believe in unrequited love. In other words, if you love someone and they don’t love you back – it was never love at all. This is not an opinion I’ve shared with people,  because we all have that past where we ‘loved’ someone from a distance. But to me that is caring for soneone or even an infatuation. But to me true love is 100% returned. Because we love so much better because we are loved.

Love is the highest form of respect.

I think we sometimes confuse politeness with respect. Words we use to address people. And even though politeness is important – respect is more than that. Respect and love has a long-term benefit for someone else. It’s not instant gratification or ego-boosting friendliness.

We cannot truly love without respect.

When you grow up in a place where you had to do something to be loved or there were conditions in order to feel safe – it sets a standard for how you love others. How you love yourself. And how you look at all aspects of respect. And that to me is so sad. Because the cycle continues.

I grew up with unconditional love. Respect. But we had a conversation yesterday, because even with all of that –  we’ve somehow started speaking with a bit less respect to one another over time. When you’re overwhelmed and frustrated  – your tone sharpens. Less patience.
And something I learned a very long time ago is children don’t learn things because you simply tell them things. They learn when words and actions match. And if it doesn’t  – they learn through actions only. Talk is cheap.
If I want a respectful and loving child. I need to set the example. What am I willing to put up with when it comes to love and respect? What am I willing to offer?

I saw how a mother spoke to her 8 year old with respect when we had visitors overtheweekend, even when the 8year old was a bit rebellious. And I found it so comforting and admirable. But it’s really difficult to teach love and respect if we somehow lost it for ourselves. If we want our way, without thinking further than ‘me’.

Love is not only using words, but ensuring your actions match

It’s 5 sisters coming together and helping each other without question. Every time.
Love is cousins shaving their hair in support of hair loss while fighting cancer. It’s mothers opening their doors and arms for their adult daughters who’s tired and bruised from life. And when someone is too tired to move and you do their dishes and make a cup of tea to help.
It’s listening to the same conversations as the other person is processing their thoughts. And a son taking a breather, before he goes back to being accountable for his life. It’s when you know – you are not getting anything in return now, but you don’t care, because of love and trust that someday the respect will be returned.
Love is a space to feel safe. To heal. And to grow.

When someone so fully love you, it’s easy to become entitled. Lazy. Ungrateful. But we love better, because we are loved. And that is where respect for ourselves and others come in.

That is why my opinion in it’s unpopularity matters to me. Because when we truly love – we are not focused on ourselves. And if your worry as you read this is, but what if they misuse my love – then please read my 1st paragraph again.

Have a lovely week!

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.