“I have everything I need to enjoy my here and now – unless I am letting my consciousness be dominated by demands and expectations based on the dead past or the imagined future.” Ken Keyes, Jr.

The first time I was actually consciously aware of how quickly time can pass, was the year I turned 10. It’s probably an odd thing to remember so vividly, but I’m assuming that prior to grade 4, you were in one classroom, with one teacher and school was still fairly limited. Your grade 4 year, however is the year where your world slightly opens up – more teachers, more subjects, increased subject matter (for a 10year old) and that is when the onset of a busy life is established. This awareness of time passing has also brought with it a bunch of other brain occupations. Suddenly you are aware of deadlines, goals, time management and that ever-annoying word: patience.

I am not a patient person. I am well aware of this shortcoming and because of that, I am also aware that I will forever be placed in situations where I will be forced to learn Patience: The attitude with which you bear your waiting, with a positive attitude. You’d expect that after almost 39 years – I would have made amazing headway when it comes to this, but alas – still developing. I walk fast, I work fast, I do my tasks fast, I think fast, I talk fast and my driving…  (moving on).

Moving to Limpopo has played around a lot with how I do things – it has also made me a ‘better driver’. Not in the obvious sense – I am forced to make quick decisions and constantly think of what other drivers will do, and rarely do the drivers follow the K53 lawbook. Due to this, I am a better driver, but simultaneously drive a little bit like an asshole in return. There is not a day that goes by where in my car, I don’t get a reminder to be patient. I have to rush to do things, to hastily start the next thing, to ultimately sit on my grey velvet Chesterfield couch, (that took a lot of effort to get here and I’m kinda’ regretting), and just think of absolutely nothing and everything in a short amount of time.

As humans we always try to convert time to our wants and needs. We have things that we so badly want, we don’t realize when we start manipulating situations to get what we want. We are perfectly fine waiting for a little while, but become impatient when we approach life’s deadlines. We don’t do it consciously. Manipulation for the most part is not that evil vixen portrayed in movies. It’s the desperate and the needy. The trying to move along what you think you want and need, at that specific moment. The pursuit of what will make you happy at that specific time or the decision of what we deserve, based on our good behaviour.

I have developed a strong disdain for the word ultimatum in the context of adults. Setting an ultimatum for someone else is to speed up the process of what YOU want, regardless of whether the other person is ready for that or not. We can argue that some people just need a little push, or a little reminder of what’s important; but that would be justifying our own actions.

I don’t believe that ultimatums work in the long-run. If anyone out there can give me an example of an ultimatum that was directed to another adult and it worked out great over an extended period – please let me know. From my experiences and observations – it benefits you in the ‘right now’ or the ‘foreseeable future’, but it does not necessarily end up the way you thought it would over the course of time. Mostly, because you are manipulating another adult into a situation that they might not want to be in or are not ready for, and at some point they will resent you for it.

All of us have goals in our lives, and those goals tend to change as we journey through life. Something that was a goal 10 years ago, might no longer be a goal. Some goals stay the same, some become far-off daydreams, and some are replaced with more relevant to our current circumstances – goals. Ultimately, as grown-ups, we all strive to have a purpose – and meaningful life. This differs for each one of us. When things take too long, we get impatient. We try to move things along, come up with plans to make things happen quicker.

We get impatient, because we try to manipulate time to bring us the desired outcomes of what WE want. Our intentions are mostly pure, our wants and needs are real. Yet, we are slow to learn that we are not in control of the how, the why or the when.

As Snoopy so effortlessly put it: A watched back door, never opens. (Yes, THAT Snoopy, from Peanuts – wise dog)

Every day when I leave work, I am faced with two doors. Literal closed doors. The one is a free walk up (and then down); and the other one takes you down to numerous glass doors and booths to get scanned. I have on several occasions, when I was in a rush, followed the stairs to the ‘basement’ and had an overwhelming longing (as irrational as it sounds), to turn around, go back and get a do-over. But the process has started, you need to follow the footsteps, moving forward through all the enclosed spaces and booths. Believe me when I tell you – the minutes you spend in there, doubles metaphorically, even though it sticks to the natural laws of time. Some minutes are just longer. The same with the 60km drive, at 18:30 at night, behind an abnormal truck, driving an abnormal speed of 30km/hr.

When we are forced to be patient – take note of the following: This is not forever, this too shall pass and while I’m here – lets make the best of this situation – not just bearing it, but looking for small joys.

In due time, you might either get what you were waiting for, or you will find some things that will make you forget what you wanted – as long as you don’t persistently interfere and manipulate an outcome – that will only familiarise you again with that darn philosophical mountain you keep walking around.

Choose how you spend your time, in the waiting. Or better yet – try not to look at things as waiting – see it as part of the experience and something you are calmly and actively participating in.

This is easier said than done, but there are so many amazing things in each day, so many small things that we can enjoy – placed there (if you choose to see it), for our enjoyment. Be aware of your surroundings right now: the colour of the sky, the shape of the leaves, the melodies in the sounds around us.

Happy ‘Time’ everyone! (See what I did there?)