If all of us would describe our idea of peaceful – what would it look like? Would it be silence? Laughter from loved one’s? Screaming children? Loud singing?

For me peace is in nature. A bright blue sky and the sun on my skin. A cool breeze that plays with my hair. Greenery all around me and water that flows and moves. I can smell nature and even though it’s not noisy – the distinct sounds of the wind; the water and the birds somehow form a harmony. I imagine all of my senses being serene, not over or under stimulated. Just a feeling of gratefulness and being content.

So, if I do not have access to my ideal peaceful environment – is the implication that I can now not be peaceful?

My first year of working in the north, I remember a deep conversation we had. The conversations would range from ridiculously superficial, somewhat unrealistic to intensely deep. I remember distinctly mentioning that one day that I would like to reach the level where even if my whole world can collapse around me, I’d then take a breather, and continue without my marbles dropping off. In other words – be so stable in a state of peace, that I would be only ever so slightly fazed.

I can honestly comment that I am yet to reach level 8 of peacefulness. My marbles have on many occasions started rolling about. I think some of the marbles turned square. To the point where I do get annoyed with myself.

I have referenced that a lot has been going on lately. A fork in the road leading to two different paths; and neither one of them is looking like a particular winning prize. The one would force me to accept the change upon me and a new beginning; the other one would put me in a situation where the effort lies with me, but less uncertainty, temporarily.

And I have learned through all of this: We underestimate how easy we sometimes want and expect things to be in life.

Sometimes it feels like we can’t catch a break. As soon as we’ve dealt with one thing, another thing pops up and immediately we go into survival mode or action mode and we try again to pre-emptively come up with solutions in a state of slight panic.

And in moments like these – peaceful is a word for tomorrow, or next week. But just not right now.

And still we expect peace to be provided for us. As if it’s on a platter or wrapped in glitter paper and it should be given to us by our environment and the people in it. And then we search for peace in all the places outside of us. We demand it, guilt it from people; cry and negotiate for it.

We learn so much about ourselves through other people. In grown-up environments you can’t just say what you want to and how you want to. Our own strengths and vulnerabilities is showcased through our environment. Yet you pick up on it when you see it in someone else as well. The biggest thing I have learned from people around me, is probably that we all have issues, we are all going through something and we have a lot more in common than we realise.

The difference comes in with how we behave in challenging situations. And in case it still comes as a surprise – there will always be challenging situations in life.

So, what exactly takes away from our peace of mind? What creates the ups and downs and rollercoaster of unrest? The nails against the blackboard or the texture of wet wool? For everyone it’s different, but I think that our own reactions on situations will be a good place to start.

There are two peaceful places when a tornado comes straight at you. In the eye of the spiral and once you are through it. Sometimes the tornado cannot be avoided, but even in the midst of chaos – peace is obtainable. We don’t need to search for it. We simply need to practice for it.

My comment years ago in retrospect was probably an informal prayer. And the moment we ask for things like wisdom, patience and self-control – we don’t simply wake up and now have it. We go through situations forming and training us for it. And in the midst of all those formative storms – peace is simply a choice away.

Other people are not responsible for our happiness, but we are responsible for our own peace of mind – even in the midst of turmoil.

I will never stop looking for absolute serenity in nature and natural things. But it is a gentle reminder. For every uncomfortable and seemingly torturous situation – a sense of peace is a personal choice away.

It’s there, friends – in the middle of every single day!