A colleague, who is quite intelligent and a bit of a recluse, came to talk to me last week about everything that is unfolding at work. (There’s a LOT going on). I asked him my normal go-to question: If you can do anything you want, what would it be?

His answer left me a bit dazed.

His plan was to do… nothing. To go to a retirement home and wait to die. This conversation immensely saddened me. He had a routine of doing the same thing every day, year after year. And he did not wish to deviate from it. If forced to stop working, he would have nothing else.

And as always – the Ansonia-brain started turning.

You can score fairly high on an IQ test and still find yourself isolated and lonely. One can buy a perfect house with a perfect family from others’ perspective and still feel empty. You can have great moments of excitement born out of impulsive choices, but still not address the underlying realities. You can get exactly what you want after immense tantrums, but still not truly understand the long-lasting damage caused. Peace in the right now, but habitual strife and displeasure going forward. You can get what you want, but it’s still not what you need.

You can win and simultaneously lose.

Einstein once made a reference in the lines of not measuring intelligence by a fish’s ability to climb a tree. (I am severely paraphrasing). Yet, I feel sometimes we are a school of sardines trying to climb everything on dry land, to no avail.

Whenever we are merely an option, or become slightly irrelevant in the world’s chaos – it’s very intimidating. And we are constantly facing some level of unsettling feelings caused by people or our circumstances.

Have you ever seen someone proudly sharing an accomplishment and you somehow started to question your own place in life? Your own purpose? Even if it is something you honestly didn’t even want to do or have?

I saw a YouTube video about 100 women having to determine who the smartest one was. They all took an IQ test beforehand and then had conversations with each other, not knowing their scores. There was a lot of self-promotion and humble brags. One of the top 10 women and very outspoken, turned out to be the 84th smartest in reality. The lady with the highest IQ removed herself from the equation early on, because she thought she wasn’t smart enough – because she was a DJ.

It’s not how much potential you have, but what you do with what was given to you.

Our own insecurities can lead to feelings of intimidation. And even that and how we react to it, differs fundamentally. So, we keep ourselves safe with ‘easy’. However, no one in life needs a protective echo-chamber to keep us safe. That has never been good for anyone, even if it feels comfortable. People and circumstances that challenge our day to day thinking is good for us. Sure, sometimes we can do with a slight breather or an easier tempo, but those are not our formative moments.

We have 24 hours in each day. Let’s assume most people don’t get up at 02:50 each day to go to work and have the reasonable 7 hours of sleep. Every other minute that you are conscious, is a minute that you have, to do something with what you have right now. Is it really so difficult to be grateful for all the small things in your life? Is it that hard to not be overwhelmed by fear for the uncertainty of the future? Can we for one of those minutes not think of what we deserve or want in life, but more, what we can contribute?

I can think I’m smart sometimes, but I have made enough dumb decision in my life to know that my actions and choices every day carry a lot of weight. That sometimes I am the cause of my own misery. I should aim to not be intimidated by smarter people, more chilled people, prettier people, funnier people or people with more accomplishments than me. We shouldn’t even play the comparison game, because we all fall short on some level and shine on others – even if it’s not visible to the outside perspective. We are only in competition with ourselves. Which also means, we set our own pace – as long as we don’t stagnate or blame everyone around us.

I am however intimidated by real people. People who can genuinely be happy and content in any circumstance – no matter what gets thrown at them. But, those are also the people I really want to get to know better. They are few and far.

I cannot emphasize this enough: when we focus on the small steps, the simple things, the small joys – so that the bigger issues won’t overwhelm us and we can approach them systematically. And as long as you want improvement in your life and you take those teeny tiny little steps; you are already making progress.

Our skills in life are so vast and different. Our abilities are so deliciously diverse. But it’s up to each and every one of us to use what we have right now – even if it doesn’t feel like a lot. To roll with the punches. And to be grateful for every day we have to try again. To be fully present ourselves and not walk around in a daze.

So, my challenge to you this coming week is to think of your unique skills and abilities. Your own, not someone else’s. Not in a prideful manner, but from a place of gratitude. And then, think of how you can you use them in any other way, for someone else, than simply your day to day routine.

Challenge accepted?